Just Like My Last Birthday Party

I was all like 'hey Gimp, take that!' and the Gimp was like 'Hey you knocked my hat crooked!' and I was like 'You know you love it' and the Gimp's like '(chuckling) Yah, I do.'

Growing Girls

I guess she's covering her face because she's embarrassed about outgrowing her top.

Note the reflection in the far away mirror looks like someone else, but it's not. And then who is taking the picture and why can't we see him/her?

Mmmm

Suddenly I'm craving a powdered doughnut.

Trompe Vous-Meme?

These trompe l'oeil jean shorts really do fool the eye. Now whats the phrase for fooling yourself that they fit?

Dark

Ooooh, so goth and scary! Now put down the prop, take off the shirt, and get back to work on the lighting for your high school's production of Pirates of Penzance.

Baby Alive

Doll or human? Younger sister to Chucky?

Lift Off!

I guess the photographer was inspired by the countdown to take the shot from a rocket launch POV!

Narcissus

One of the reasons I love ebay so much, and half the reason I post is because I find it wonderful how people reveal themselves through these pictures.

Let's think this through. AEMs take pictures facing mirrors because they don't have someone to take a picture of them *wearing* the item. Otherwise, you would just hang the item on a hook and snap a photo of it. This self-lovin' lady decides she simply wants to be in the picture, and really likes what she sees.

Aaaaay....

The Fonz had a daughter?

You Can Pay In String

I think the cat is the seller and she's auctioning her human, commanding you with those eyes to buy.

Monkey Paws

Holy prehensile feet! You know she can pop a tab top on a beer with these things. Also, the way she is laying next to the outlet makes her look plugged in.

Ladder Lovers

Friends of AEM may know that I'm vaguely obsessed with amateurs using ladders as props. I love ladders because they have no practical application to the scene whatsoever (just touching up the ceiling here in my pageant dress!), and I'm convinced that amateurs love them because it gives their hands, arms and feet something to do instead of just hanging there.

More and more ladders

here
here
here

Airgasmic

Wow, I guess she really likes the fresh outdoors.

No You Cannot Fly

Caveman on E need go home, go sleep.

Duck For Cover!

This AEM demonstrates how to rock a tarp in a hail storm.

Commanding!

From the Kim Jong Il Weekend line comes these hot numbers. Has all the authority of dictatorship and the breathability of cotton/poly blend.

Semi Cute

These good buddies tied the knot next to their rig. Adorable! But dear seller, I don't really want to buy your dress after it's been dragged around an oily truck in a dirty garage.

Crack is Whack

I'm so glad that I get to own this silver jumpsuit after it's been so deep in this AEM's undercarriage. So deep it's causing a pleating effect at the top.

Before & Never

This is one of those ebay listings where the seller posts a sexy picture of a lady, but the item being sold is unrelated, in this case, it was a leather jacket. But I am so not following what is happening here. Is this meant to be a before and after? I am puzzled.

Those Are Not White Gloves

As if this AEM didn't look uncomfortable enough in this dandy uniform (please, I beg you to click on the photo to get a better look at the eyes), the curious whitewash treatment to her hands and face appear to actually afflict her.

Amuse Bush

MOST unfortuante placement of the ties.

Words of Wisdom

My pal Lori and I have a deal such that we are required to tell the other one when we start dressing too young for our age. Why do I bring this up now you ask? Because I don't want to end up like this AEM, whose bellybutton sags so much it looks like it's frowning.

Paint The Town

The bulging pecs, raised shoulders and double chin confirm this AEM is hoisting a pair of heavy paint cans.

So Bright, Gotta Wear Shades

This visitor from the future, wearing a vintage 2020 fringe vest she won has returned to 2011 to assure us that ebay is still going strong.

Peek A Shoe!

This comely lass teases and promises just how ripe those sneakers might be. Scratch that - I take it back, it's a dude.

Don't

Love how this stringbean's glasses conveniently double as the classic 'Don't Get Caught Like This' bar.

Flood of Gratitude

Oh I never thought I'd be so blessed as to see a hipster trying to pull off a Noah's Ark sweater ironically. Thank you, ebay gods.

Upstaged

Holy scary undead guy! This setup is selling a sexy french maid outfit. But I hardly even notice there's anything else in the picture besides that horrible spectre. Shivers!

Hmmm

Um, excuse me, I think that's supposed to go on the other half of your body.

Y'All Buy Ma Socks, Y'Hear?

Smarmy Tex here wants you to buy his used socks. It's kind of hard to imagine he's been out ropin' and ridin' (maybe ridin') as he luxuriates in his suburban leather chair and a half.

Helping Hands

I guess, and maybe it's just me, I just have a problem with dress straps made of human hands. The dress would never slip down though, what with the hands grasping your shoulders, that's a plus.

Tableau

Yes, thank you, we get it - they stretch. But where is your other leg, and why is a table jutting out from your body?

Yikes!

Well I tell ya, this one gave me a start when I saw it. Not only is it a creepy, grinning skull wearing a jaunty hat, it appears to be in a box, like you could send it to someone and scare the bejesus out of them.

Blech

Well, at least the seller has the self-awareness to admit 'I don't know what I was thinking.' Love how she completes the awkwardness by sporting pajama bottoms.

Slice of Life

I do so, so love these slice of life pictures people use to sell clothes. In this case, a literal slice...of cake. No, you can't see the dress at all. Yes, there's a giant unattractive scalp front and center. But it captures such a natural, celebratory moment that I just love it. Of course, if it is a (2nd, I'm guessing) wedding, where is the groom? Ah well.