All National Geographic-Like

Shhhhh. (whispering) Here we see an Amateur Ebay Model in her natural environment. If we don't scare her away, we might just be lucky enough to see her elusive grooming routine where she removes every hair from her body.

A Demure AEM!

And does that crotch-shot-blocking clutch come with the purchase of the dress?

Cyber Monday or Digital Monday?

Another self-proclaimed Cyber Monday deal. But this has to be digitally enhanced, right? For reference, see picture of 'gymnast booty' that has made its way around the interwebs of late.

Cyber Monday or Cyborg Monday?

This self-proclaimed Cyber Monday deal has a curious tattooed android looking mannequin. Seriously, I can barely tell if it's a mannequin or human...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Enjoy the holiday and don't think too hard about how weird it is for an anthropomorphized turkey to be wearing a pilgrim's outfit...

Hipster Elimination - Round 2 Men

Hipness, like posing sexy, is truly democratic. Anyone of any age, race, or orientation can take on irony. As in real life, beards are now becoming more common on the AEM hipster. Who's more tragically hip here? YOU decide.

Hipster Elimination - Round 1 Women

Friends, I have resisted this. In my searches on ebay, I look for natural, organic silliness where most of the models don't realize what they're doing may be construed as funny or alarming or creepy or whatever. Enter the vintage clothes-shilling hipster. Hallmarks include: overall ennui, hunched posture, vaguely antagonistic poses and faces, super self-conscious and of course, always deeply ironic. At first I loathed the hipster, but now I realize it's almost as hard to look completely devoid of feeling as it is to pose sexy. I present to you some of my worst favorites and have you decide The Hippest Of Them All.

I Only Care A Little About Your Anonymity

I like the statement that a half-assed piece of tape covering part of the face makes.

Well-balanced

The lengths AEMs go to! Teetering on a stool on one foot while taking a self-portrait in a mirror. That's commitment, folks. PS, not a sexy way to show off jeans, though. PPS, what if someone comes in the door??

So Creepy

I am upset by this. Not the socks. By now, we all feel that trashed socks are ho hum, right? It's the face covering thingy. It's got like a shroud feeling, with the vague outline of her head. It's like floating in front of her. Eesh. What kind of tool do you pick from photoshop to do that?

At Least She Saves On Bikini Tops

At first I thought this girl was just posing sexy, but now I'm convinced she has a horrible birth defect where her hands are grafted onto her chest. Way to go for modelling with special needs.

Lucky Me

I'd only be lucky if I had a thing for hairy bellybuttons. And from a short distance it just looks like he's pointing at his goods.

Powerful Picture

This may put me off lollipops and ham for forever.

So Demure

Thanks for your politely misspelled t-shirt, but shouldn't it also say TigBits or something as well?

So You Think You Can Sell

Glad the seller has made clear that it's the jacket, not Cat Deeley, that's for sale.

For The Colorblind

Why oh why post your photo in black and white? This seller squanders an excellent AEM in a cute pose, clearly displaying the shorts.

The "Two Slutty Girls" Move

Oh, how I enjoy The Two Slutty Girls move. Men are just helpless against it. These are some fine, fine examples. Hardly amateur at all, I mean, they really nail it. How to do the move: a) find another slut, b) pose such that your nipples might somehow touch, c) appear to be friends, d) convey that at the end of the night, you could all three end up in the sack.

Just A Little Distracting

Nice vest and all, and thanks for posing cute, but I'm a whole lot more interested in the Chinese ghost city behind you.

Octogenarian Sass!

Love this old gal's attitude! I mean, she's holding the hip because it aches and it just happens to look like a model pose, but whatevs!

Party Girls

Oh, let's keep going with fun and slutty today. It's hard to believe this thin, cheapy dress lasts long enough after a hard night of rubbing and getting rubbed up on to sell it. And...what's that girl in the lower left corner doing?

Party Girl

Wow, she does The Robot and she's slutty? This gal looks fun. I mean, the kind of fun that you should get tested for afterwards, but what a good time at the time.

Don't Know Much

But I do know that alllll these pictures from the same listing tell me this guy is That Douche From Yale Law That Is Always Wearing That Hat.

Size Matters

Gents, when purchasing your sling, remember to consider the length, otherwise you will wind up bowed over like this poor guy. Ouch!