Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.

Friday, May 28, 2010

To Ponder Over the Long Weekend 3

Will this woman's head roll off if she removes the bandage at her neck?

To Ponder Over the Long Weekend 2

Is this a human or mannequin?

To Ponder Over the Long Weekend 1

Here are some puzzlers for you to consider over this long weekend. P.S. Be safe, have fun!!

Why is she so blase about being robbed?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

So Inspiring

Gotta hand it to this gal - that poise and grace -- all while living with just one leg. Makes you think, doesn't it?


There is nothing wrong with this picture. I just love Judy. I don't want to buy her kicky hat, but I might, to make her happy.

Um, Confused

Whatever body part is showing here, mine doesn't go like this. Is this the front or back? I'm so confused.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

We Are Trapped By Our Worldview

Dear Lady With Enormous Boobs,
There is nothing inherently sexy about a 'Sexy Purple Turtleneck.'
Gal Who Looks Like a Librarian in a Purple Turtleneck


I mean - really - yikes, right? That green eyeshadow so does not match the lipstick.

Invisible Man

Who knew they sold invisibility fringe jackets on ebay?! I want one! Or maybe I have one, and I'm standing next to you RIGHT NOW.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Dude Makes It Crystal Clear

Dude - we know you are selling the shirt. There's nothing else in the picture. But thanks for pointing it out I guess, to the other dudes.

I Could Be Oversensitive, But

Dude -selling your Bud jacket while wearing your Jack sweatshirt makes me wonder if you have a dog named Guinness, a '19th hole' flag in your backyard, and a giant hole in your soul.

Dudes Are Amateurs, Too

Dude - you got fuggin' fists of iron! Iron. Like the radiator you are standing next to, despite the expanse of blank wall to your right.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I Learn So Much on eBay

Giving a new definition to 'dickie.'


Is it me or is this poor mannequin suffering a very human condition of being lopsided?

Not to be Trusted

Oh ha ha, I'm thinking, he reminds me of Karl Lagerfeld, ha ha -- and then I notice the GIANT RED SNEAKY EYEBALLS! Terrifying...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Help An Amateur Model

Please let this gal tinkle before that nice skirt is unsellable.

Fashion Crime

It appears this guy got arrested for looking Totally. Stupid.

Does This Bathtub Makes My Boobs Look Fake?

This is to sell the coat. But why the bathtub? And why no pants? And why no shirt? And why a classy di-a-mond choker? And why the bathtub? Yeah, twice. No, three times. Why the bathtub?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nice Legs, Though...

I'm all for lifestyle advertising, but save it for fashion magazines! On ebay, I actually like to *see* the item that's for sale, in this case, the shirt. Or shirtdress, or tunic, or pajama top -- or... you get the point.

Oh Baby

I don't mean to pick on the fetishists. Live and let live, you know?
But my word, this is not a good look. I can't even tell if it's a man or a woman! And a baby with cellulite is deeply disturbing.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


If only I had the poise and confidence of this..er..uh..gentlelady! This dress couldn't possibly look any better on someone else! PS, nice rack, sir!

A Note

Hello! Just a note to say that I do not alter the photos I find on ebay. It's a right-click-and-save as operation! I mean really, how could I possibly improve upon people's natural weird choices? xo -Jenn

Wuv It!

I feel like I just fell into a Christopher Guest movie. Where's Fred Willard?

This 'cabaret' group is selling their handmade costumes. Could it be that there is no audience for this type of entertainment? Shocking!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's A Bird, It's A Plane...

Another hallmark of the Amateur eBay Model: The Point. I enjoy this pose greatly for its faux elegance, its wrongful belief that it gracefully elongates the body. But now I know what I will look like if I purchase these items and wear them to an airshow.

Unclear to Me

Okay, so I get that it's a fetish thing and that I probably won't totally understand. Um, but so the one girl is going to airbrush the other girl? Or is it a tattoo thing? But then why the painter's coat? My naivete is showing.

This One Just Kills Me!

Here she is, Miss Teen Mutant!

Monday, May 17, 2010

I Am Going to Hades

Even mannequins need chemo.

Just Passing Through

I have to say, this one threw me. The way she is sashaying through the living room, hair tossed over one shoulder, casually observing the room -- it looks so real! Oh, except her arm is on backwards.
Side note: how am I jealous of a mannequin's living room?

Slutty Mannequin

This gal is just ready to give it away!

In her defense, her father, who was an air conditioner cover, never told her she was pretty.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Creepy Alert!

a) This guy bears a frightening resemblance to an ex of mine, Tony, who is equally as creepy
b) This seller thinks this is the shot that will make someone buy this dress!! Like, "you too, Other Show Moms, can have your child's innocence stripped by being objectified and manhandled by creepy emcees like this in a vain grasp at giving your own life meaning."
c) Too harsh?


I don't really care what the Matrix is, so long as I can live in a world with delightful reclaimed pine flooring like this!
Sorry I can't take your PVC outfit more seriously, sir.

She Looks Bushed!

Hey, maybe this isn't as bizarre as it seems, and this gal was marrying a rhododendron so it all makes sense.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Amateur Lookalikes 3!

Angie models at her estate in Namibia to pick up some extra cash on ebay for local orphanages. I'm so moved.

Amateur Lookalikes 2!

So I guess Mariah got married, lost a few pounds, and is returning to her more conservative roots. Good for you, Mimi!

Amateur Lookalikes!

So I guess Amy went to rehab, gained a few pounds, and is now modelling for ebay!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mixed Message

Wait -- so do I go speed skating or do I go to the mall in this get up? It's unclear. Top down says 'Olympics', bottom up says 'Orange Julius'

So Gross

In the name of all that is good, I hope this used piece of lingerie gets dry cleaned - nay, sterilized, before she ships it out to the lucky winner.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mannequin Mondays!

PS, this is the new look for mannequins -- these are all over ebay. I would say that it is an unrealistic portrayal of women, but see Exhibit B -- also typical. Not sure which one has more plastic!

Mannequin Mondays!

Oh, to have such grace and poise while wearing a LARP robe!

Mannequin Mondays!

All I can really say about this is he wears it well, doesn't he?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Name That Body Part!

Again, a baffling section of skin.

The Stifle Pose

This has all the hallmarks of minimizing a toot. The crossed legs, the slight protrusion of the butt, the nonchalant look... Crass, sure, but hey that's me.

Why So Angry?

I don't so much want to buy the shirt as much as respond "Honey, I'm sorry I've been deprioritizing you. Please give me back the remote and don't block the TV."

Friday, May 7, 2010

What's the Point of Bidding?

Granted maybe there are some cultural cues here I'm missing, but the existential approach is a helluva way to sell a blazer.

An Ebay Carol

It's the Ghost of Amateurs Yet to Come!