Material Absorbs Tears!

Everyone together now..awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. This poor little amateur model is seriously not feeling this photo shoot. There's nothing like tears and sorrow to show your item in its best light. Good call, Mom!

Confused, Disturbed

Is this a sassy child pageant contestant or a midget 45 year old librarian in a Halloween costume?

Heavy Psy

Oh to have one pinky of the confidence this mini-Psy has. Those are some seriously good moves. And the swagger!

And Is That A Tear Drop Tattoo?

This l'il tough is kind of intimidating! I'm pretty sure she's throwing a Westies gang sign.

Coffee, Tea or Me?

The tray says 'try this pineapple juice,' the eyes say 'I'll squeeze your lemon.'

L'il Despot

This kid was born to be an AEM. He takes the job so seriously! And quite impressive method acting. I get the feeling he would actually use that sword if I disobeyed his command.

It's Brittanie, Bitch

Brittanie's pageant winning bathing suit is for sale here. Her mother is quite proud of her accomplishments. Very aspirational. And she makes a perfect AEM. Professional really. And that's because she's been turned into a two dimensional doll robot.

Shwing!

I don't know what to make of this 'hip hop outfit,' except that our model looks like the female version of Wayne's World. If this is a put on, that girl is the best actor ever. But I don't think it is a put on.

That Blows

Well this l'il storm chaser appears to be cool with it, but I have a slight problem with making my child demo a coat at the onset of a hurricane!

I Can Relate

Note his stiff arms, backwards leaning posture and shoulders hunched up to his neck. Note her firm grip on his back and fully extended lips. This little gal is going for it and he wants nothing to do it. Read 'The Rules,' tiny aggressor, before it's too late!

Oh and by the way, this is a sale for her clothes.

Thief!

I'm suing this l'il hip hopper for stealing my best move. Well, second to the guns, anyway (friends will understand this).

Start 'Em Early

No need to save for college if you can get your girls to start go go dancing as youngsters!

Shame Hat

The Shame Hat behavior modification program that humiliates your kid into submission seems quite effective! I can only imagine other parents in a bidding war, desperate to snap this item up!

I'm *Crying*

This is the Saddest Clown Ever. How does this make someone want to buy this outfit? This is like a Puss in Boots sad face look...I'll do anything to make her smile, you know?

Rant

Sexy, huh? Oh wait - she's FIVE. I get that little girls get sassy and like to play dress up and act like grown ups. But this little lady seems like she already knows how to get a free juice box. And what parent is cool with coaxing a sexy performance out of their kid to sell clothes? Blech.

Creepy Alert!

a) This guy bears a frightening resemblance to an ex of mine, Tony, who is equally as creepy

b) This seller thinks this is the shot that will make someone buy this dress!! Like, "you too, Other Show Moms, can have your child's innocence stripped by being objectified and manhandled by creepy emcees like this in a vain grasp at giving your own life meaning."

c) Too harsh?

Cute Travel Outfit

Look Mom, Social Services!

Fly By Night

Sure the nightgown is olde fashion'd. But what disturbs me is the appearance that the seller has broken into an unoccupied home to take the picture.

Bruiser

This little charmer really sells the outfit. Her T-shirt says 'Take me to the beach and no one gets hurt'...and I believe her.