Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Oh, Snap!

I'm not sure if this is brilliant or cheap. This AEM takes what is a nice, unique feature of the shirt and sexualizes it with her lack of pants. Points for dramatic lighting that just barely shrouds her wonderland.

Auditioning For A Coffee Table?

Such grace. Such poise. So natural. I'd totally put a coaster on that.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Come Down Here This Instant!

I'm exhausted just looking at this montage. Imagine caring for a flying child! Gives a new meaning to grounding. (*groan*).

Rainbow Brite

I guess for this one, the plushy phallus, while not the first thing I noticed, is surely the most upsetting. What *is* that purple thing?? Second most deeply upsetting is the whole childlike vibe. Ick. PS, the socks are for sale.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Mean Mutha

Um, I guess I don't want to buy a fur coat with the risk of having it taken away by the cops for DNA testing in connection with a violent crime. PS, in case he doesn't look menacing enough, that's the grim reaper on his shirt.

Demo Those Features!

Great ebay salesmanship comes down to demo-ing the features, I always say. In this case, our AEM shows how flexible the fabric is, how it really pops on stage, and how a sheet and a couple of American flags can make girls feel they're competing in something meaningful.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Really? This Is The Only Picture Of Your Red Pants?

I question this AEM's salesmanship, as the set dressing is more than a little distracting to the red pants for sale. Couple of notes. 1) Ew. 2) I adore that the photoshopper matched just the right shade of fake tan to make the boobs appear even more baggy and saggy and sliding off her body. 3) I hope they wipe down that couch between 'interviews' (or is it topless karaoke?)


"Miss Philsbury" (great name) is giving me flashbacks to the late 80s when Little Mermaid came out. Surprisingly, he's a bit camera shy for your usual ebay drag queen.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Faux Real

Major, major kudos to this AEM who sexes it up while lying on a silly stuffed tiger who appears to be trying to escape, but is a little resigned to his fate, too.

Party Crasher

On ebay, I get to attend all kinds of weddings, proms, confirmations, girls' nights, pageants, gosh the list goes on. I really love it. It is amazing to me that people take their personal moments and put them up for all to see because they don't want to, or don't think to, take another picture of the item they're selling (and/or think it will help sell the item?) The joy of the occasion isn't always captured that well because of the formality of the pictures. But here we have a more casual shot. Doesn't this mother of the bride look so fun?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


She is awfully poised for just having had a bucket of water dumped on her. Though she appears to be shivering a bit.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Strange, Strange Choice

This li'l AEM is not so sure about this whole beard thing. I'll have to agree. Why place a olde grey beard on a tiny child? Especially telling is the bit of hand poking him to stay in place. Well, this will be good material for his therapist in about 20 years.


No measly 5 point star will do! This savvy AEM lets us know that her butt is Jewish-approved! Though I have my suspicions about her being unclean...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Sorry to Disappoint You

Dear AEM, despite your determination, no amount of flapping will allow you to take flight.

Let's Get Puritanical

This sounds like a good premise for a movie: A wild 80s aerobics instructor gets knocked overboard while taking a cruise and wakes up in 2011 on the rocky shores of a conservative New England town. Hilarity ensues. Lessons are learned.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Hope your day is more like theirs than hers.

Ugly St. Patrick's Day Sweaters?

I sure hope I'm not trend spotting, but there were quite a few ugly St. Patrick's Day sweaters for sale on ebay, including the 'Feelin' Lucky' homemade one. Will we be having parties wearing tacky sweaters soon? I think one 'ugly sweater' holiday is enough.

Sexy St. Patrick's Day

Must be a mischievous leprechaun has stolen the lass's drawers.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Wee Bit O' The Shakes

It's hard to take a clear picture when you haven't had your Guinness that morning. But take his word for it, this clip on Shamrock tie is just the right accessory to say 'Don't count on me to come back to the office after lunch.'

Gettin' Jiggy

This AEM has the spirit! I haven't actually seen an Irish jig caught on film. Very impressive.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Go With It

One really must embrace the St. Patrick's Day attitude of jackassery or you wind up looking like guy #2, who tries to maintain some dignity, but just winds up looking ashamed.

Everyone's a Little Bit Irish

For the next three days, we'll be looking at some fine, fine examples of what happens in America, and particularly New York, with that equalizing of all holidays, St. Patrick's Day. I've sidestepped many a pile of green vomit on 6th Ave, long after the parade itself passed by in which actual Irish men and women celebrate their heritage, holding their heads high while witnessing parade-goers indulge in every Irish stereotype - over-imbibing, fighting, mischief and general jackassery. It's similar to Halloween, minus the creativity and self-expression.

Ebay sellers, those most industrious and opportunistic folks, offer all the accoutrements to make your day the jackassiest of them all. Let's start with the t-shirt, the least commital and easiest to show your Irish 'pride.' I especially dig the marriage of Irish heritage and wizardry, the Party Like Charlie tee.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Horse of Course

Alright, one more horse and I'm starting the AEMs & Horses category. Do that many people have horses? Or, if you have a horse, you just really want to take pictures with it? Not sure of the causality. However in this case, I think the AEM wants to show off that her mane is prettier than her horse's.


If an AEM falls in a bedroom, and no one is there to hear it, does she still make a sale?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Engine 53

She looks like she's handled many a hose, quenched many a thirsty fire. Engine 53, it may be time to hang it up.

To Have, To Hold, and To Hang Out To Dry

Sure, anonymity is important for the wedding party, but the poor priest? I guess they figure he's in God's hands.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dogs Say The Darndest Things

This guy is trying hard to pull off Very Sexy Picture, and might have, except for his little dog. The dog is like 'Master, I don't understand,' which pretty much echoes my sentiments.

Belle of the Ball

Who doesn't love dressing up and being the center of attention? This gal takes it one step further by nearly blotting out her date entirely. And he's none too pleased about it.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Could It Be?

Look! Look! I've found modesty on ebay! The gal in the black bra is my kind of gal, wearing a nice thick t-shirt. And neither gal has 'bolt ons' as my friend called them. Really, this is quite momentus. A moment of quiet reflection is in order.

For the Horde!

This AEM would love to believe that this "tracker coat" well equips him to lead a quest through Azeroth. Eh, more likely, it helps him find where he parked at the Home Depot, but let's not put too fine a point on it and ruin this guy's day.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Somebody call HQ!

Apparently Hooters is having some quality control issues in Davenport, LA.

Having Fun With It

Is this the most fun guy or what? I *love* this. It takes a manly man, indeed, a soldier, to model women's fancy hats. I totally want to hang out with him!

Monday, March 7, 2011

It Takes A Manly Man(nequin)

Some guys just aren't comfortable wearing pink.

You Never Really Know Your Neighbors

A fine, fine reminder that good fences made good neighbors. Who would think such trashtasticness is happening in the suburbs? I can all but hear the kids pool party next door.

Friday, March 4, 2011


Her wide stance implies she's adept at shimmying around on small platforms, but that black table does not look stable. It's like she's putting on her stage show at home. Note the unfortunate (fortunate?) location of the tag on the bloomers, which are being sold as New With Tags.

Look Out!

"You could stop traffic" is just an expression, dear AEM! Though she seems pretty casual and confident she's not going to get mowed down.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Great for NYC Apartments

Oooh it's a mini-AEM! Looks like she could fit right in your pocket! I want one!

Like a Sick Madame Tussauds

Oh, ha ha, look, it's Bjorn Borg, I thought as I saw this...until I clicked further to discover this seller's macabre menagerie of truncated celebrities. PS, a young John Candy???