Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Ahead of the Curve

Get yours now, because in the future, especially in airports, we'll all be wearing silver bodysuits.

A Crime Against Feet

And to think this lady's trying to make money off these slicked up beasts!

L'il Helper?

At first I thought that little nub was the queen anne foot of a coffee table or something but upon closer examination, I think it's a baby hand!?!?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Such Semi-Professionalism!

This amateur model is put to the test by having, I'm guessing, spiders or a giant rat just off camera.


This blouse is advertised as reversible "4-ways." Now, unless 2 of the ways are turning yourself into your own mother and back, I don't see how this is possible.


"Sexy Harley Davidson shorts"

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Plus One

A real commitment to anonymity -- the seller has
even blotted out the identity of the dead bridesmaid floating ghostly above the wedding party.

Just One of Those Things

Don't you hate it when you hang your uterus out to dry, and then you're like, where did I put it on this line, and wind is blowing so you have to wear your skintight yellow PVC catsuit to be aerodynamic...

Tie Goes to the Taller

Tip for the Amateur Model: Try not to get your picture taken with a taller, better looking and slightly less amateur model.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sucking The Life Out of Her?

Okay, yes, I have a huge problem with matchy couple outfits, but man, this is just weird! Does she have a snake bite?

Lefty Loosey

This is how sexy you will appear in these shorts while trying to pry the lid off a jar!


Maybe it's because I'm just back from Yellowstone, but I'm highly entertained by her sexy attacked-by-a-grizzly outfit. Sadly, just the shorts are for sale.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Gone RVin'

Hello soul brothers and sisters! I'm taking off for a bit so no updates. Drop me your address at amateurebaymodels@gmail.com if you want me to send you a postcard from the road, b/c I totally will!!

Friday, July 16, 2010


Some wear their hearts on their sleeves, but that would get in the way of the merchandise. This savvy seller wears her heart on her face. (click on photo to enlarge).

Ebay, Take Me Away!

I so admire this plucky seller who helps you envision the fabulous life you could have if you buy her items. In the black dress, please note she is blotting out a guy who is in the picture behind her -- that's taking charge in the boardroom! And in the red dress, it's an adventure in the deserted streets of the Forum Shops in Vegas.

Emo Guy

This jacket's color is described as 'Black, Like Every Day Since She Left Me.'

Thursday, July 15, 2010

When You Say Budweiser

I did not know that Bud makes cans with twist off bottoms!

Amateur Sleepwalker

She kinda has that Ambien sleepwalker thing, no? I've heard posting amateur modeling photos on ebay is a side effect of the drug.

I Know, I Know

I keep posting pictures of boobs. I can't help it! Each pair is more alarming than the last! Those nips look like weapons! Pardon me, I have to go now and call my psychiatrist...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Happily Ever After?

Very effective marketing to BLOT OUT the groom because every bride knows it's HER DAY.
P.S. Did they get married on a miniature golf course?

Smells Classy!

So..trying to get into this seller's head..."I'll display these pink satin pants against a pink satin tablecloth for extra classiness, and throw in an old-timey perfume bottle below the ass to..." nope, can't even finish it.

Predatory Muppet

Pretty sure he's holding his stomach because he's full from devouring Elmo.
This is described as a 'rave/burning man coat.' Is burning man chilly?

Monday, July 12, 2010


Oh she will be so embarrassed when she realizes her hem was caught on the vase.

Cracking Myself Up

Great hat to complement your depigmentation disease!


The glint in this wolf mannequin's eyes suggests that if I open to see more photos, it will leap out and eat me.

Friday, July 9, 2010


Eh, I'm thinkin' this is more like mediocre stuff for someone else, but thanks.

Disenchanted Youth

Great outfit for kidnapping a teenage girl and dragging her into the woods! Thanks for demo-ing the product in situ!


I just print this out and it tells me exactly how to get from Boulder to Jackson? Boy the Grand Tetons are bigger than I expected.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Stop! That Tickles!

I just love those sweet intimate moments when my pigslave gently oinks in my ear.

One of These Things

Something seems amiss here -- that old crone face cannot actually be on that body, right?!

I Choke Because I Love

Dina Lohan demonstrates her nurturing character to this willing seller of a black shirt that's able to withstand bad mothering!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Form Of...Ball and Chain

I love, love, love how this picture of a picture gives this newlywed couple the Wonder Twins effect.

Packed In There

Man, that is one overstuffed silver...purse.

Call Me Intuitive

I am just getting the sense, I'm not sure why, that this seller doesn't really want to give up this coat.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cadaver Chic

Yah, I like True Blood's sexy dead vampires and all, but this found-floating-face-down-in-a-neighbor's-pool look does not turn me on.

Chanel Y'All

I'm bending my own guidelines a little, as this is not technically fashion or a model, but this is found art.

Oh Excuse Me

Did we catch you at a bad time?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

He Always Says He's Sorry

Hmmm, the cowering, flinchy, abused look does not say sexy to me. Thoughts? And this is selling womens clothes to women. I still just don't get that.

I Can't Make it Up

Yes, this sale for used socks is really happening.

Thanksgiving Pants

It's good to know what these pants are going to look like on me after I've overeaten to button-popping proportions and need to ease things a bit.