Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Feelin' Fetishy Today Part 3

As I've mentioned, there is a quite a supply/demand for "used," "trashed," "well-worn" socks, stockings, shoes and underwear on ebay. It cuts across men and women. A good thesis for someone.

The part that interests me is just how hard it is to take a picture of your own legs without looking like a cadaver at best and severely disfigured at worst.

Feelin' Fetishy Today Part 2

So I have no business putting this pic up because it is totally professionally done. However. The copy that goes with it is straight from an 'as seen on TV' commercial.

"Sick of loose and ugly hoods? Cheap imitations, un-shiny rubber? Its (sic) time to look your best!"

I'm picturing high-school-play quality acting from a woman struggling and harumphing through getting a mask on and throwing up her hands in frustration and disgust. And then BING! this mask appears in her hands.

Feelin' Fetishy Today Part 1

Good lord and to think of how clammy my feet would get in my feety pajamas - this would not work for me. The buyer of this item is a very complex person as it combines quite a few fetishes. I adore how the seller has a super casual 'just walking down the hallway' pose.

Monday, August 30, 2010

No Good

The desperate, talking, lifeless wedding dress does not work for me. Kinda feel like a wedding dress should be a little more dignified, no?

Hee Hee

Yes, I'm a fourth grader, but the buns in the mirror are funny.

V is for Vexing

Aww, look at this sweet, pretty lingerie that's well photographed and well lit and ACK! the menacing, scary Guy Fawkes mask peering down!!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Need Sunglasses!

Thanks for eliminating everything else from the photo so I understand it's just the sweater for sale! But a small note, dear seller, you have overwhelmed my eyeballs with your bright scribbles so that your item looks drab in comparison. And you seem crazy.

A Horse of Course

At first I thought this was a real horse, but no. So that eliminates the 'pet-free home' problem. Yet raises the larger question, WHY IS THERE A HORSE IN THIS PICTURE?? And then juxtaposed with the cement wall and gravel, and the hand holding out the sleeve to display the shirt better. As if holding out the arm is going to provide clarity to this scene.

So Sad

Proof once again it takes more than the sexy outfit to keep 'im. And in this case, it appears she lost the guy and all of her earthly belongings as well. And she's selling her last item?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Bel Cant

So, what's for sale here is her used "opera gloves," but I'm not sure the Met has been on her agenda anytime recently.

Model Down!

We have a model down! Just kidding, he is actually showing off the bottom of his shoes, which are for sale. But maybe there's an easier way, like taking them off?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Good to Know

There are still hookers in the future.

Feeling Naive

Is this hamster wheel bed a sex thing? Wait, don't answer.

Cry For Help

Whether or not this was a deliberate choice to advertise this sexy dress that's no longer needed among a glut of children's toys and stuff, it seems this seller is sending out a silent plea to help us help her regain her sense of self as a woman. I mean, aren't there other places, say, a hook, to hang a dress on to take a picture?

Friday, August 20, 2010


This sale is for absurd flip flops with those rags tied all over them. I love that the seller took the picture on a vaguely dirty looking tile floor like 'Show off your new flip flops, and clean the floor while you're at it!'
PS, this picture also seems very Mondrian to me.

Try It On

I love dudes. This dude doesn't need a mannequin, doesn't need to pretty it up or display it in any appealling manner -- he's like 'here's the inside of the fuggin' vest.' I imagine the dude taking the picture is like 'nice, man.'


I just love how this seller demos this product like it's a science class dissection. And it's all flesh colored and and dark inside and orifice-looking. I mean really, not an appealling sell for a body shaper.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

In My Medical Opinion

Maybe I'm just jaded because of all the ginormous, obscene racks on ebay, but I just want to tell this lady, 'you appear to have enough money based on your home...pay to hike those girls up!'

Double Take

Uh, who else looked quickly at this picture and thought there was a big ol' unit here? An unfortunate case of bad lay of fabric.


Please excuse the tiny picture, but I just had to post this most awkward photo of a nervous maid of honor giving her speech. Hand jammed in pocket, arms tightly pulled in to her sides, tho, she holds the mic like a pro. I'm not sure this is the best picture to sell this dress, but I feel like I've attended this wedding.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Cautionary Tale

Wow. I know wearing sexy clothes sometimes makes you seem less brainy, but I had no idea it actually makes your head smaller!

The Missing Link

Gills, everybody! I've got GILLS!

Drawn In

So if I buy this photograph of a skirt that looks like a drawing, do I get to pay with Monopoly money?

Monday, August 16, 2010


This is by far and without peer, the scariest mannequin I've seen. It looks like the hand is growing out of her chest. Like the ghostly hand of a dead twin set on revenge.

Rorschach Test

Do you see a mannequin with fetish gloves on? Or a mannequin riding a horse? Or two hands holding up leather horns? An excellent psychological test.

PS The mannequin doesn't even look 3D to me. What does it say about me if I'm just plain confused?


This one is hard to tell it's a mannequin, right? Kind of felt like I was walking in on something. Is this mannequin getting molested? Or is she on her third date? Unclear.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Do Over!

Remember the days where you sent your film off and waited 3 days to get it back, hoping you got some good pictures? Well, apparently so do lots of sellers on ebay who still pretend that whatever you get on the first take is just fine to post.


I do not even want to consider where those beads have been...

Eat Something!

My guess is that she's fending off someone trying to get her to eat a piece of bread. Or maybe she's not that skinny and it's just one helluva body shaper.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Angst Sold Separately

Further isolate yourself from society with this ironic harlequin hoodie!

I Can Relate

Note his stiff arms, backwards leaning posture and shoulders hunched up to his neck. Note her firm grip on his back and fully extended lips. This little gal is going for it and he wants nothing to do it. Read 'The Rules,' tiny aggressor, before it's too late!
Oh and by the way, this is a sale for her clothes.

So Authentic

Shhh, let's quietly observe this native American picking spirit berries out of the air. For just a few baubles and beads, we can buy her dr--- what's that? $300 for a custom made deerskin dress?! Now I'm questioning whether her hair is even real!

Monday, August 9, 2010


This hefty school marm ghost is going to whip me bloody with a switch. I'm sure of it.


No mannequin? Get creative and use a hanger and your balled up fists, nice and low, to demo the silky lay of this blouse.

Super Creepy

"Mmmmm.."? Uh, is it how the nylon slip clings to the smooth plastic of the legs? The lack of rejection?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Mean Girls

Why are they talking about me? Why are they tied together with that brown sash? Like a two-headed mean girl.


What are you doing? Go back to bed, Grandma.

What A Gift

You know, I've been doing this for a few months now, and sometimes I think I may have seen it all, and then THIS HAPPENS.

P.S. I forgot the best part!!! The description says "Full legs pass for a dress if you stand still."

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


This gent explains the prep steps for auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Cover Up

This is advertised as a 'golden all purpose cover up'...also known as a blanket. Bra optional.


Who is also confused about how many limbs are going on here?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

50 Reasons

Sweet Mother of Pearl WHAT is going on here, and WHY would I want to buy these belly dancing costumes USED.


Uh, all I really want is that cookie.

Ready or Not!

I'm digging this seller's whimsy, playing hide and go seek!