Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.







Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Gumshoe


This listing promises shoes 'worn by a detective.' So bizarre, I love it! Also love the focus on the feet rather than the shoes. Especially love the scraping-the-floor angle of the photograph, like they are skulking under the dinner table. Very creepy.

Double The Fun



It seems this seller suspected there were some...limitations with her models, as she has chosen two different AEMs to display this jacket in the same listing.

Big on the Little, Bottom on the Top


Now normally I don't. I mean, sometimes I do take shots at people's bodies, but hopefully not that much. But this model's physique bears mention. I mean it is like anorexic on the bottom, all you can eat buffet on the top.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Stre-e-e-t-ch


Dear seller, you know you have two hands, right? One can hold the sleeve, the other can take the picture.

In The Name Of All That Is Good


I swear this is the scariest thing I've seen yet.

Left-Brained


Apparently this lingerie is targeted strictly to math and science wizards.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Oh Deer


Thank goodness! I've been looking for faun horns EVERYWHERE. Nice touch with the possessed looking eyeballs! And no, this isn't advertised as a Halloween accessory. Just 'Faun Horns.'

Release


This is the sexiest toot-airing maneuver I've ever seen. Bravo.
(Yes, I'm an 8 yr old boy.)

We Have Lift Off


This gal, perhaps unhindered by the other half of this shirt, catches serious air!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Tasteless


This "humorous" t-shirt cuts a little to close to the drumstick for a lot of folks at Thanksgiving.
That said, on this Thanksgiving Day, I want to say I'm so thankful for you guys and your support of AEM!!

Tough Call


Either she's trying to pose sexy or there's a giant monster that just crashed through the door. Either way, not the most effective way to sell a cutesy sweater.

She Was Promised Couture


I'm reading bitter resignation and humiliation on this gal for having to wear a holiday theme vest.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

When You Wake Up From Your Nap


I'll be posting Thanksgiving and Friday so come visit!
PS I got in a bidding war for this vest and lost. Thing is, I can't decide if I'd be wearing it ironically or not. Kinda love it. What's happening to me?

Such Poise!

Oh what do I love most? The teal genie pants themselves? The wide stance? The hands firmly planted on the inner thighs? The creepy wideset pinkies? This is amateur modeling at its finest.

*Shivers*


This is a view I never want to see: the inside crotch panel of a used support garment. Do we need this view to prove there are no uh, like, stains? Not to mention the way this is taken, I feel like I'm diving headlong into it...

Retro


What year was this picture taken? Everything about this photo says early 70s to me. This is like one of those embarrassing photos of relatives someone digs up around holiday times. And yet, this dress is for sale. Confusing.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

What A Good Idea!

This pliant sleepwalker makes the perfect amateur model. Multiple wardrobe changes and all! Let's hope she doesn't lose that physique by Ambien-induced sleepeating an entire loaf of bread.



Up Here?


This AEM seems to be questioning the photographer's judgment to have her scale the rock wall for the shot.

God Bless America


Two words spring to mind: weapons. stockpiling.
P.S. that is not a woodchuck on her shoulder -- it's the corner of a hood that looks verrry woodchucky.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Trashy Lingerie, No Really.


You have a yard. You have a driveway. You have the interior of your house, ostensibly. Why, oh WHY would you take your photo in front of a big pile of garbage? Yes, sign me up to wear this used nightie against my most intimate parts after it's been rolling around in the trash!

Zoinks!!


This little lady had me doing a double take because I didn't think it was a mannequin at first blush. And I mean blush.

The Lisa Rinna


Lisa Rinna continues to pump the rest of her body full of plastic and actually becomes a mannequin.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Bad Time?


We have apparently interrupted something this model was doing because she looks piiiissssed. Does it have anything to do with the severed head or choir gown?

Mrs. Bates


My eye is drawn not to the full shot of this shirt but rather to the close up of two fingers gently spreading the pink velvety folds to reveal a small button...What?

So Many Thoughts




Well my, my. Let's play 'What's Most Disturbing?' a) the Jocelyn Wildenstein-ish plastic surgery? b) the portrait of her/himself front and center in the apartment? c) The ponderous boobs? d) the full lace body stocking? e) that someone else would buy said stocking? f) other


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Her Bag


Possibly that lightly filled sack still contains some tattered hopes, dreams and self-esteem. Or one dollar bills.

So Serious


Well I can't think of anything less sexy than hunching over to yank a foot up to your face, but this AEM is quite serious about it. That determined look, the straining neck muscle, the iron grip on the foot, so close to the camera that it looks disproportionally gargantuan. I applaud her ability to overcome the awkwardness and try to put sexy on it.

Grace


She captures the grace and poise of a swan with those elegantly pointed fingers. Really extends the arm and we follow the point to the pile of clothes on the floor.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Cuckoo!

My Lands, I've never seen anything quite like this. These photos are all from the same listing, ostensibly to sell a vintage slip. There were about 10 total in the 'narrative,' and I took some of the best. So yes, the seller is in on the joke, hamming it up. But taking a step back, I mean, WHY go to such lengths? I really think many people need attention, an outlet, a way to feel heard, appreciated, or even simply noticed. I can relate, and yet, this is SO BANANAS.




Crafty!


I suspect this model cut those underpants out of the side of the dress using her claws!

Really?


A gun? For real? That is one helluva bold prop to include with the Curt Cobain item.

Monday, November 15, 2010

So Devoted

Nothing makes me happier than when a gal chucks the 9 to 5 life to become a rock star. No need for another button down because the band will be 2gether 4ever.

So Proud


Nothing makes me happier than when a stripper finally gets that college degree and can sell off all her outfits.

It's All Relative


Savvy seller placing large husband in picture to make those jean capris look downright petite.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Corazon!


Is this her bodyguard? Prom date? Is she being held captive? Does she like it? Is she afraid? Is she a villain? A victim? I feel I've stumbled into a steamy telenovela.

On The Run


This poor guy looks geniuinely afraid. It's like the seller is going to rip that nice lady blazer right off of him and he's not having it.

Mind In the Gutter


Mmmm, used socks fresh and piping hot out of public bowling shoes! Hey because there's two pairs, you get a spare!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Getting Personal


This look she has here? This is the look I had when I was in that revolving restaurant bar, went to the bathroom and came back and tried to find my table.

Cutie Pit


Now ordinarily I would say it's hard to look away from giant polka-dotted boobs, but the questionnably placed store logo in the model's pit is distracting me. a) The thought of candy having been in an armpit is gross. b) I wonder if it's hiding something in the picture. c) It makes me question the judgment of the seller.
Thanks for the photo, Irene!

Dog Do's (and Don'ts)


If I may, I'd like to propose a seller guideline: 1 dog = adorable, >1 dog = dirty smelly pet home.








Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Crime Scene


AEM down! We have an AEM down! Conked out by her own mallet. A tragedy. Or perhaps she put herself out of the misery of wearing those striped overall shorts.