Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.

Monday, January 31, 2011


I love that the cat and the mannequin are equally featured, similarly colored, and have the same amount of poise. Why is that so funny to me? I don't know, but I hope it tickles you, too.

Small Couch? Big Woman?

Now that looks comfortable. Have some Gulliver-like fun and try to picture the chaise as full size, so the photographer would come up to the top of her head.

Oompa Loompa

The green trees look the right color green. The white building looks the right color white. So one can only assume that this AEM is actually that orange. This is for a 'unisex' sweater his wife is clearly making him model. Use some SPF, sir!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Ewe Have A Lovely Home

One of the things I love most about ebay and cruising all these photos is that I get to see seller's homes, their weddings, their vacations. Heck even their first communions. But I've never seen mountain goat statuary. I think I want one!

Monkey on Her Back

This one is self-consciously weird, and usually I resist these types for the more organically weird. I mean, even the monkey has monkeys on it. But the whip? And sitting on a cat post? Its weirdness has drawn me in. This auction is for the shirt.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I'm a Model!

Kudos to this AEM who masks her lack of ability to stand unselfconsciously in front of a camera by showing off her powers of balance. Extra points for graceful lady-like splaying of fingers and modestly keeping her knees together.

Water Featured

Yes, because I'm sure there wasn't any way to take this picture without having a giant fountain in front of you.


Ooh excuse us, we didn't mean to butt in. Wait a sec -- aren't you supposed to be sending some of that energy outward, to us, to help sell those items? I don't even think they heard me.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


This pageant contestant appears to be borrowing from the dark arts to help her win, casting a spell against her competition. Her dress even has a wizardy feel to it, right?

Those Moves!

Oh how I wish a dance lesson from her date accompanied the purchase of this dress. I call his move the 'Startled Baby Reflex'

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


This mighty flex will have you stepping back a few paces!

Pace Yourself

Those shoes don't seem practical to run a race in, but there she is, poised and ready for the gun to go off. And she must have run another race just before this as she appears to be panting.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Friend for a Day - Update

Update to the non-sexual, married-with-children-but-fly-her-anywhere, 5'8" 225lbs, totally earnest 'Friend for a Day' listing...this auction ended with no takers. I wonder how she is feeling today. I wonder if she had to fight for it with her husband or if he was cool, and I wonder if she was hoping it would fill some hole or deep ennui. I wonder if she's embarrassed. And most of all, I wonder if she'll relist! My guess is no. It was almost worth the .99 cents and 50 dollar shipping to call her and find out all of this, but I didn't want to make her feel bad, or disappoint her that I wasn't some romantic lonely arabian prince. Can you tell I've thought a lot about this?

scroll down to listing:

Friday, January 21, 2011


This diligent AEM studies up on how to pose awkwardly. Step 1) include a prop so you don't have to figure out what to do with your hands.


Help this poor AEM, who makes money selling used stockings to raise money for the operation to put her legs on straight.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

It's Brittanie, Bitch

Brittanie's pageant winning bathing suit is for sale here. Her mother is quite proud of her accomplishments. Very aspirational. And she makes a perfect AEM. Professional really. And that's because she's been turned into a two dimensional doll robot.

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

Love these gents' use of hair as props! In the case of Samson there, he avoids the awkward where-do-I-put-my hands question by holding onto his tresses. And in wig boy here, he goes the jackass route which is the AEM way of avoiding trying to look good. Well done, lads.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Chin Chin

Um. I'll just say, this picture makes his body look mighty foreshortened and that his chin looks like it's, er, rising up out of his pants.


That's right, take a bow! Not only do you have the confidence to perform on stage, but headless! That's handicapable, people.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


This kind of seems like a joke. Maybe this would be better categorized as an awkward ebay item, because I think the model really is doing the best with what she's got!


This photo was one in a series that does reveal what she's pointing at, but today I'm in a teasing mood so I'll leave you with just this.

Monday, January 17, 2011


Dear Seller, context counts. So when you pose in your fancy white strapless dress in a bathroom, it just looks like you've stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel.

Funky Monkey

This has a real Planet of the Apes remake/Helena Bonham Carter vibe to me. Such a strange choice. What is the message here? That you have to have the intelligence of a lower primate to buy this item? And don't get me started on the creepiness of an animal wearing another animal's fur. And that long skinny silver arm... I mean really, I could go on and on.

I Suspect You Won't Have To Wait On Line

This is advertised as a 'club top.' What kind of club is that, exactly?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sundays Can Be Lonely

It's not AEM related exactly, but wanted to share this most unique listing for 'Friend for a Day' I came across today. Bidding starts at .99 and there's no bids yet! Looks like you could get her for a steal.
Look it up on ebay.com. It's item # 300515379683
or just click here

Friday, January 14, 2011

Doesn't Do Windows

So this is a fetish maid outfit. Quite different from the 'ooh la la!' short black poufy maid outfits we see at Halloween, right? I don't get the appeal here, but to each his own! She appears to be struggling with her get up.


There is essentially a vertical line going down her body from her dark-rooted part, past the lumpy zipper, down through the Mariana Trench-like wedgie.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Not To Mention The Sand

Lovely, professional photo - such playful romance! Congrats you two! And yes, worn only 1x, but do I really want to buy your dress after I know it's been dragged around in foot-deep corroding salt water?

Hottie, Really?

A boy I know says 'a picture like this should make me want to have sex, not turn me off it,' despite what the sign behind her says.

Deep Cover

Not only is this AEM and her date in witness protection, but her gift bag is as well! That's taking anonymity seriously!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

On the Right Track

Quick! Take the picture before the horses come around again!


Savvy choice to turn your model into vegetation! That way the blazer really pops. But not the hands! Leave those balled up, nervous hands for an extra kick of awkward.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Flower Girl

And this daisy is there to cover something up? Draw our eye? Make me pause this long to consider it?

AEM Favorite

It just doesn't get any better than this. I present to you my all-time favorite photo. An AEM pretending to stand like a mannequin! Oh it's so perfect. The robot-like stance, the baaaaad ill-fitting poufy dress, the sports bra underneath. And the idea that you would act like a mannequin is just so awesome! Not sure I can break it down more than saying I love, love, love this.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Out Of This World!

Calling E.T.s, blend right into orthodox jewish society with this stylish hat!


Why buy an expensive mannequin? Just blow this gal up and put her to a second use! And it's selling lingerie. How apropos!


Too late for a lunar eclipse joke? Dark moon? Too late? Darnit.

Friday, January 7, 2011

You Can't Go Back

Okay, let's start here. This is an auction for the shirt, advertised as a 'clubbing top.' I can only imagine this shirt is from, I'm guessing 4-5 years ago, and a lot has changed for this AEM in that time.

Reason for the Season

I'm thrown by the Christmas theme. I guess I see a difference between 'giving' and 'putting out.'

Thursday, January 6, 2011

On the Pole

I've posted a lot of sexy pictures. A looooottttttt of gals trying to look like strippers, acting like strippers, posing like strippers, selling their 'dance' clothes. All these gals edging around the idea that if you buy their item, you could look hot like a stripper. But here we have an actual stripper! Actually on the pole! I've never seen such a thing! Three items of note: a) that's amazingly brightly lit for that environment, b) I did not think you could take pictures, and c) look at how worn the floor is around the pole.

Who Is That Masked AEM?

Why oh why do these sellers insist on scaring the crap out of me? So as we know, people take great pains to remain anonymous on ebay. And I get it. You put a mask on and ooooh all of a sudden everything's mysterious. But this goes a bit beyond what's necessary, and becomes some kind of spooky artistic statement that takes away from the purpose of selling clothes.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

L'il Target

Yes, please go ahead and blot out the adult faces but not the child. Protecting their identity is very important. But please leave your child hanging out there for all the nice heavy breathers to see. And this is to sell one of the bridesmaid dresses, not even the flower girl dress.

Less Than New

Can these shorts really be sold as 'new with tags' when they've essentially given this woman a gynecological exam?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Make 'Em Beg!

So we know I just adore dogs in ebay photos, of which there are a suprising abundance. Mostly the dogs just happen to be wandering through. Not so with this pooch, who takes an active role in selling the dress.

It's Go Time!

I do love an AEM who knows what works for him. This dude is ROCKIN' the party hardy let's get our drink on 'tude. Or has severe arthritis.

Monday, January 3, 2011

That's Cold, Santa

And here I was wishing for regular clothes for Christmas when I could have gotten invisibility pajamas!

Two Bros Share Their Me Time

Can't a bro and and another bro touch and laugh in their nightshirts while sharing their intimate morning routine without someone saying something?