Celebrating the strange, awkward poses and generally misguided choices people make to sell clothes on ebay.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Better Get Extra Oats For This

Not sure this horse is totally on board with being dragged into the Wonder Woman theme. He's like, I don't need no stinkin' lasso of truth to tell you how I feel.


I think what makes some people uncomfortable about Halloween is the acting that's sometimes involved with the costume. And these folks exhibit why it's so essential, but difficult to get it right. The matador is flamenco dancing, the bull is delicately bowing. It's wrong, wrong, wrong.

Hey Sailor!

If I had to guess what this guy is dressed as, I'd say 'Don't Ask Don't Tell'

Mee Mee Mee!

Beaker throwing devil's horns? Makes him look way more crazy/possessed than scared/shy. This is ruining a fond childhood memory.

It's Life Jim, But Not As We Know It

Energy field sold separately.

Minnie Me

Are you jealous, little girl, that the doll is so much thinner and prettier than you?
Thanks Stephanie!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

No Pictures

Um, you know you're not really Marilyn Monroe, right?


Ladies and gentlemen, please don't dress your child up as the Prince of Darkness. Or in the case of the black robed kiddo - 'Servant of the Devil' costume. Fine they look kind of cute. And I am coming from a repressed Judeo-Christian background so bear with me, but really? Do you want to mess with that? It seems really driven by the parents. I mean, it doesn't strike me that a little gal is going to be like 'I want to be a devil!' Or maybe I just don't know little girls like that. I'm leaving lots of room for other opinion, folks. But I've also posted a mask for sale just in case you need to be scared straight. :)

Words Escape Me, But I'll Try

Where to start. First off, I'm not a fan of The Office enough that I would know if this is a 'thing.' Please enlighten me if that's the case. The seller describes this as a handmade paper mache Michael Scott. And she's so proud of it, it's almost hard to critique. Almost. But WTF?? This is by far the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I *adore* handmade costumes but look at that head! The flared nostrils, creepy lips surrounding a hundred teeth. The bemused expression - on both of them. I'm glad they're in on their private joke together but I tell ya, I am disturbed.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Get This Thing Off Me

This is the point in the evening where it is just so not fun. Itchy, tight, hard to sit in. It's perfectly captured here.

Poor Things

Men. Whether it's conscious or not, they can't help but promote their virility.

So Upset

Wow, an actual Damsel in Distress. Just kidding. It's for a medieval maiden, but the hands covering the face inadvertantly make quite a statement!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Jack Scores

Smiling sure, but do I detect some smugness, too?

Plays Better in the Old Country

This one is advertised as 'sexy russian peasant girl' but I think a better name for it is 'lonely russian peasant.'


I am usually super on board with conceptual costumes, but this harlequin is a bit out there for me, not to mention I can't see what she's selling. If I look at this too much, her head looks like it's on backwards. And she's in jail?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Yay Halloween!

Folks, it is about time for my favorite holiday of the year -- Halloween! Probably at this point I should just leave it to kids to celebrate, but living in New York allows me to get dressed up with thousands of other New Yorkers every year and have fun. I love the creativity, the cuteness, the bizarre-o-ness, the humor and everything in between that Halloween brings out. It reminds me of my crafty days where I made all my costumes as a kid. It reminds me of blissful childhood nights where we could safely cruise the neighborhood for bagfuls of CANDY. And it all happens during the most beautiful time of year where the leaves are crunching underfoot and there's a crispness to the air. eBay is a wealth of entertainment during Halloween. I've gathered some of the best for you to enjoy this week. Yes, a whooooooole week.

The Wizard of 2002

No? Oh, the Wizard of Oz. Looks like the Wizard of Oz has forgetten where she parked...her buggy (this has an Amish vibe to me). Very confusing.

The Sexy Cat

Anyone who knows me is aware that I strenuously object to 'sexy' costumes for Halloween. (That said I've been 'sexy' costumed for the past two years. Go figure.). Anyway, the classic Sexy Cat is a go to for many a gal with little imagination, because it's fairly easy to do and really does pack a punch with the gents. Though it is less easy, as evidenced here, to capture that allure in a still photo.

Surprised That I'm Surprised

I guess I should know better by now that there would be theme used socks. But really, I'm quite taken aback. I just didn't think the sock sniffers would care so much about the holidays. I have to say, this makes me feel a little queasy about what's coming around Christmas. Baby Jesus + well worn socks.

Friday, October 22, 2010


He's looking for how far down the block the cops are after bashing in a window with a golf club?

Golden Ratio

I feel we've discovered a perfect equation where the length and width of the breasts is directly proportional to the length and width of the thighs.


I don't so much want to buy this top as get this model two advil and a heating pad.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Let Down

I think it would be a come down to buy and wear this dress without the promise of being projected larger than life. I don't just want to wear it to some regular ol' cocktail party, I want my close up, too!

Matchy Matchy

Um, I guess she had some fabric leftover?

And Here They Are

This photo has all the art and drama of a women's prison frisk. I guess kudos to this gal for just layin' it all out there. And it does demo the product nicely. There's just something so...booby about it that is both mezmerizing and repulsive.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Best In Class

Wow, check out this freaky cool photo for used stockings, where the background and the foreground are in focus. I'm granting it the AEM Award for Best Used Stocking Photo So Far.

As Opposed To...

...this number where she looks like she's been smacked hard. Maybe that's the appeal, I don't know. But I think she's just trying to hide her face. I have more of an issue with the white sandals at this time of year, anyhow.

Do The Time

This complicated and baffling set up has a bit of crime scene flavor, no? Or re-enactment, anyway? Like it's a New Year's Eve party gone horribly wrong. In case you're wondering, this shirt can be yours...as long as it's not booked into Evidence.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Belly Belly

Such a strange choice to keep the kid in the picture but so adorable! Everybody show their tummies!


This daring number has awakened the wood -- that is the tree spirit who is very excited.

Heavy Load

I think she is genuinely trying to stand up straight but just can't.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Homeless Amateur

Seriously, it looks like she is wearing this coat for warmth, not to model it for sale. The furrowed brow and body language makes me think she's hungry or needs heroin. Kind of has a hooker who had a bad night vibe, no?

Hypnotized Amateur

This gal seems like she's in a trance. The heavy, sleepy arms can't quite strike a model pose. Looks like she's wearing pajamas beneath the item for sale. Wondering who the Svengali photographer is.

A Self-Aware Amateur

LOVE this photo. She's like 'I know, it's not great, but it's the best I can do.'

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Clearly Not Enough Research

Clearly, this new seller doesn't understand the competition in her category. Slip those things on, sister, and nothing else, if you want to play in the used undies game! Your smile may get you phone numbers in bars, but if you want to rack up dollars you've got to get smutty.

Not So Sexy

There is sexy tousled hair, and then there's just wearing a mop on your head.

Need Help

Okay folks, help me understand WHAT is going ON HERE. This seller only lists under 'women's leggings.' But there are some lumps, bumps and hairs here that don't add up. But not quite lumpy and bumpy enough to be sure it's a dude. Is it different people? A dude wearing ladies leggings?